karnythia:

Tried to participate in the MenCallMeThings hashtag on Twitter. Somewhere between “Well not all men do this so why aren’t you saying some men?” & “Why are you blaming all of us for something very few men do?” I remembered why I rarely engage with men of any color on topics like rape or street harassment or cyber stalking. It’s bad enough being a woman in those conversations, but being a WOC in those conversations just opens the door to all the misogyny ever. And when MOC & white men come together to insist that they have a right to have their feelings considered before any mention of the trauma women might be facing, I just don’t have the strength.

There is a stunning lack of support from all sides as soon as people start pointing out that there isn’t some mythical tiny percentage of men engaging in these behaviors. Everyone wants to play “Not me, I never did that” and make it about their illusion that they aren’t part of the problem instead of considering the distinct possibility that they aren’t part of the solution. Trust me, I’m not getting harassed by the same 5 guys everywhere I go. Nope, these are men of all different races & economic levels. And they are with their friends who are often either participating or silently complicit. Am I really supposed to think that all of the people who protest being “lumped in” with the bad ones have never been a silent bystander at the very least? Really? C’mon son.

All of these reports of rape threats & death threats & the cyber stalking & the lynching porn that many black women bloggers get & the guys on street corners/trains/yelling obscenities from cars isn’t happening because 10% of the male bodied population spends all of their waking moments terrorizing women. It’s happening because we live in a culture that says that it really bad or scary or harassment until the law says it is. The same law that used to say that black & NDN women couldn’t be raped at all & white women couldn’t be raped by their husbands.

The same law that says in one breath violence against strangers is wrong & should be punished, but violence against your spouse is domestic & not really a matter for the law unless you do it a lot & the neighbors complain & there are scars & they never come back to you. Not even because of finances or kids. Nope, it’s not bad unless they leave immediately & never look back. The laws that all too often says it’s not stalking if you were ever in any kind of relationship, & even if you weren’t if it’s only online then what’s the big deal? After all if it really bothered you, you’d give all that silly internet stuff & go do something real with your time. Gee, guess who wrote & enforces those laws…

(via adamangasaurus)

sarah-of-a-lesser-fincher:

Connery explains that you only beat women, “If you’ve tried everything else, and — women are pretty good at this — they can’t leave it alone. They want to have the last word, and you give them the last word, but they’re not happy with the last word. They want to say it again, and get into a really provocative situation. Then I think it’s absolutely right.”

And that’s the least offensive part of the whole Connery vs. women story.

(via thegirlwiththefinchertattoo-dea)

stfusexists:

You’re in luck! The Canadian salon Fluid Hair has run this tasteless ad with the slogan, “Look Good In All You Do”:

Apparently, the aim is to look good in all your abusive partner does too, even at the level of a potentially deadly felony. Canada, aren’t you supposed to be BETTER than this?