thedisreputabledog:

pervocracy:

ann-tagonist:

I recently realised that I actually think all PIV is rape. If I use my definition (weaponization of the penis), then consensual intercourse still falls under that. Even if you like it. Even if you have an orgasm. You can’t consent to being assaulted, after all. The physical…

5) This charming little intellectual exercise is really disgustingly disrespectful of people who’ve survived actual rape.

I’ve experienced PIV and I’ve experienced sexual assault. Pretty goddamn different experiences. How DARE you tell me that being assaulted was morally equivalent to warm happy snuggly sex with my boyfriend.

You can’t consent to assault because consent is the thing that makes it not assault anymore.

I also want to point out that classifying all penises as always weapons is massively, unforgivably transmisogynist.

It is also telling that so many of the people who embrace this line of argument accept without challenge the very concept of PIV sex as penetration. I believe that OP thinks they are trying to empower (cis) women by freeing them from the tyranny of patriarchal experiences of sex, but trying to make all PIV sex rape is such a backwards way to go about it. There are reasons that this sex act isn’t widely known as “engulfing” or “accepting” or “inviting.” Can we perhaps consider those reasons, and that summarily increasing the threat level of penises doesn’t take away any power from men but in fact gives them more, while degendering trans women and reducing the agency of all women to claim their own subjective experiences as real and significant?

I understand that “because I like it” feels like a weak argument but it is actually really important. It’s not the only thing that matters—I do give some weight to social forces constraining what choices individuals are even able to conceive of as possible—but dismissing it altogether does a huge disservice to the real people affected by all this theorizing.

I reject OP’s authority to define MY sexual experience.

Claiming that all PIV sex emphasizes women’s “fuckhole status” or whatever is merely a continuation of rape culture, plain and simple, and cissexist to boot.

(Source: anon-ms)

Frequently, I receive requests to provide a definition of the term “rape culture.” I’ve referred people to the Wikipedia entry on rape culture, which is pretty good, and I like the definition provided inTransforming a Rape Culture:

A rape culture is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.

In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes. This violence, however, is neither biologically nor divinely ordained. Much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change.

But my correspondents—whether they are dewy noobs just coming to feminism, advanced feminists looking for a source, or disbelievers in the existence of the rape culture—always seem to be looking for something more comprehensive and less abstract: What is the rape culture? What are its borders? What does it look like and sound like and feel like?

It is not a definition for which they’re looking; not really. It’s a description. It’s something substantive enough to reach out and touch, in all its ugly, heaving, menacing grotesquery.

Rape culture is encouraging male sexual aggression. Rape culture is regarding violence as sexy and sexuality as violent. Rape culture is treating rape as a compliment, as the unbridled passion stirred in a healthy man by a beautiful woman, making irresistible the urge to rip open her bodice or slam her against a wall, or a wrought-iron fence, or a car hood, or pull her by her hair, or shove her onto a bed, or any one of a million other images of fight-fucking in movies and television shows and on the covers of romance novels that convey violent urges are inextricably linked with (straight) sexuality.

Rape culture is treating straight sexuality as the norm. Rape culture is lumping queer sexuality into nonconsensual sexual practices like pedophilia and bestiality. Rape culture is privileging heterosexuality because ubiquitous imagery of two adults of the same-sex engaging in egalitarian partnerships without gender-based dominance and submission undermines (erroneous) biological rationales for the rape culture’s existence.

Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to “cure” queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and “the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms.”

Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped.

Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.

Rape culture is victim-blaming. Rape culture is a judge blaming a child for her own rape. Rape culture is a minister blaming his child victims. Rape culture is accusing a child of enjoyingbeing held hostage, raped, and tortured. Rape culture is spending enormous amounts of time finding any reason at all that a victim can be blamed for hir own rape.

Rape culture is judges banning the use of the word rape in the courtroom. Rape culture is the media using euphemisms for sexual assault. Rape culture is stories about rape being featured in the Odd News.

Rape culture is tasking victims with the burden of rape prevention. Rape culture is encouraging women to take self-defense as though that is the only solution required to preventing rape. Rape culture is admonishing women to “learn common sense” or “be more responsible” or “be aware of barroom risks” or “avoid these places” or “don’t dress this way,” and failing to admonish men to not rape.

Rape culture is “nothing” being the most frequent answer to a question about what people have been formally taught about rape.

Rape culture is boys under 10 years old knowing how to rape.

Rape culture is the idea that only certain people rape—and only certain people get raped. Rape culture is ignoring that the thing about rapists is that they rape people. They rape people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance.

Rape culture is the narrative that sex workers can’t be raped. Rape culture is the assertion thatwives can’t be raped. Rape culture is the contention that only nice girls can be raped.

Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is bad fucking luck. Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing a person can do to avoid being raped is never be in the same room as a rapist. Rape culture is avoiding talking about what an absurdly unreasonable expectation that is, since rapists don’t announce themselves or wear signs or glow purple.

Rape culture is people meant to protect you raping you instead—like parents, teachers, doctors,ministers, cops, soldiers, self-defense instructors.

Rape culture is a serial rapist being appointed to a federal panel that makes decisions regarding women’s health.

Rape culture is a ruling that says women cannot withdraw consent once sex commences.

Rape culture is a collective understanding about classifications of rapists: The “normal” rapist (whose crime is most likely to be dismissed with a “boys will be boys” sort of jocular apologia) is the man who forces himself on attractive women, women his age in fine health and form, whose crime is disturbingly understandable to his male defenders. The “real sickos” are the men who go after children, old ladies, the disabled, accident victims languishing in comas—the sort of people who can’t fight back, whose rape is difficult to imagine as titillating, unlike the rape of “pretty girls,” so easily cast in a fight-fuck fantasy of squealing and squirming and eventual relenting to the “flattery” of being raped.

Rape culture is the insistence on trying to distinguish between different kinds of rape via the use of terms like “gray rape” or “date rape.”

Rape culture is pervasive narratives about rape that exist despite evidence to the contrary. Rape culture is pervasive imagery of stranger rape, even though women are three times more likely to be raped by someone they know than a stranger, and nine times more likely to be raped in their home, the home of someone they know, or anywhere else than being raped on the street, making what is commonly referred to as “date rape” by far the most prevalent type of rape. Rape culture is pervasive insistence that false reports are common, although they are less common (1.6%) than false reports of auto theft (2.6%). Rape culture is pervasive claims that women make rape accusations willy-nilly, when61% of rapes remain unreported.

Rape culture is the pervasive narrative that there is a “typical” way to behave after being raped, instead of the acknowledgment that responses to rape are as varied as its victims, that, immediately following a rape, some women go into shock; some are lucid; some are angry; some are ashamed; some are stoic; some are erratic; some want to report it; some don’t; some will act out; some will crawl inside themselves; some will have healthy sex lives; some never will again.

Rape culture is the pervasive narrative that a rape victim who reports hir rape is readily believed and well-supported, instead of acknowledging that reporting a rape is a huge personal investment, a difficult process that can be embarrassing, shameful, hurtful, frustrating, and too often unfulfilling. Rape culture is ignoring that there is very little incentive to report a rape; it’s a terrible experience with a small likelihood of seeing justice served.

Rape culture is hospitals that won’t do rape kits, disbelieving law enforcement, unmotivated prosecutors, hostile judges, victim-blaming juries, and paltry sentencing.

Rape culture is the fact that higher incidents of rape tend to correlate with lower conviction rates.

Rape culture is silence around rape in the national discourse, and in rape victims’ homes. Rape culture is treating surviving rape as something of which to be ashamed. Rape culture is families torn apart because of rape allegations that are disbelieved or ignored or sunk to the bottom of a deep, dark sea in an iron vault of secrecy and silence.

Rape culture is the objectification of women, which is part of a dehumanizing process that renders consent irrelevant. Rape culture is treating women’s bodies like public property. Rape culture is street harassment and groping on public transportation and equating raped women’s bodies to a manwalking around with valuables hanging out of his pockets. Rape culture is most men being so far removed from the threat of rape that invoking property theft is evidently the closest thing many of them can imagine to being forcibly subjected to a sexual assault.

Rape culture is treating 13-year-old girls like trophies for men regarded as great artists.

Rape culture is ignoring the way in which professional environments that treat sexual access to female subordinates as entitlements of successful men can be coercive and compromise enthusiastic consent.

Rape culture is a convicted rapist getting a standing ovation at Cannes, a cameo in a hit movie, and a career resurgence in which he can joke about how he hates seeing people get hurt.

Rape culture is when running dogfights is said to elicit more outrage than raping a woman would.

Rape culture is blurred lines between persistence and coercion. Rape culture is treating diminished capacity to consent as the natural path to sexual activity.

Rape culture is pretending that non-physical sexual assaults, like peeping tomming, is totally unrelated to brutal and physical sexual assaults, rather than viewing them on a continuum of sexual assault.

Rape culture is diminishing the gravity of any sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, or culture of actual or potential coercion in any way.

Rape culture is using the word “rape” to describe something that has been done to you other than a forced or coerced sex act. Rape culture is saying things like “That ATM raped me with a huge fee” or “The IRS raped me on my taxes.”

Rape culture is rape being used as entertainment, in movies and television shows and books and invideo games.

Rape culture is television shows and movies leaving rape out of situations where it would be a present and significant threat in real life.

Rape culture is Amazon offering to locate “rape” products for you.

Rape culture is rape jokes. Rape culture is rape jokes on t-shirts, rape jokes in college newspapers, rape jokes in soldiers’ home videos, rape jokes on the radio, rape jokes on news broadcasts, rape jokes in magazines, rape jokes in viral videos, rape jokes in promotions for children’s movies, rape jokes on Page Six (and again!), rape jokes on the funny pages, rape jokes on TV shows, rape jokes on the campaign trail, rape jokes on Halloween, rape jokes in online content by famous people, rape jokes in online content by non-famous people, rape jokes in headlines, rape jokes onstage at clubs, rape jokes in politics, rape jokes in one-woman shows, rape jokes in print campaigns, rape jokes in movies, rape jokes in cartoons, rape jokes in nightclubs, rape jokes on MTV, rape jokes on late-night chat shows, rape jokes in tattoos, rape jokes in stand-up comedy, rape jokes on websites, rape jokes at awards shows, rape jokes in online contests, rape jokes in movie trailers, rape jokes on the sides of buses, rape jokes on cultural institutions…

Rape culture is people objecting to the detritus of the rape culture being called oversensitive, rather than people who perpetuate the rape culture being regarded as not sensitive enough.

Rape culture is the myriad ways in which rape is tacitly and overtly abetted and encouraged having saturated every corner of our culture so thoroughly that people can’t easily wrap their heads around what the rape culture actually is.

That’s hardly everything. It’s merely the tip of an unfathomable iceberg.

(via blackaliss-deactivated20120731)

unknowablewoman:

There are no words that can adequately express the level of hatred and disgust I feel toward this horrible excuse for a human being. 

Don’t think I didn’t think about it.  Don’t think that I didn’t want to grab a cup of cool water, hold it to my precious daughter’s lips and say, “Here; take this.”  Don’t think I didn’t want to never even think of the possibility that pregnancy would result (and still may).  Don’t think I didn’t want to spare my daughter the burdens of dealing with a pregnancy from these circumstances.

But I shoved that green box in my bag.  It’s still there…unopened.

I know many, many people - some who call me friend - will think this is a monstrous decision.  I should have just had her swallow the pill and never looked back. There - done.  One less thing to worry about.

My daughter, though, you see, is adopted.  For all I know, she herself is the product of rape.  Her birth mom was known to prostitute herself, and for women in that life, rape is common.

And even if this wasn’t the case, what child deserves to die due to a parent’s sins and brutality?  Taking an innocent life is wrong - I know it, and every genuinely honest person on the face of the earth knows it.

Oh Jesus, the comments on this thing. 

(via little-sword-deactivated2013040)

lipstick-feminists:

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, RAPE CULTURE]
[ableist term removed by loverwife]

chileanstudentmovement:

Various reports of this are all over the internet. My source is this article

Earlier this month Piñera was in Mexico for a meeting between most Latin American heads of state and he shared a…

(via lipstick-feminists)

adamangasaurus:

mild tw: mention of spousal rape

jessicavalenti:

The Politics of Plan B from Media Education Foundation on Vimeo.

On Wednesday, the Food and Drug Administration will announce whether it will approve making Plan B (the brand name for emergency contraception or the morning after pill) available for purchase on drugstore shelves - that’s right, next to the condoms and pregnancy tests. Reproductive justice advocates I’ve spoken to over the last few days all think the same thing: they’re going to approve it. I sure hope so.

Kirsten Moore, for example, President & CEO of Reproductive Health Technologies Project, says “While FDA has toyed with women’s health before, all signs point to them doing the right thing at last and letting the science dictate their policy decisions.”

I’m pretty damn optimistic too. The FDA has a lot of embarrassing history to make up for surrounding Plan B. This would be a step away from their ideologically driven past toward the drug, a progressive pro-science move that could restore a bit of that tarnished reputation.

Obviously, if the FDA does pull the trigger - conservatives are going to lose their collective shits. A quick refresher course in the sordid FDA/Plan B history (you can also find this info in The Purity Myth) and what we can expect if Plan B becomes available on drugstore shelves:

The FDA approved emergency contraception for prescription use in 1998. Despite the fact that major medical associations pushed for over-the-counter availability in 2000, the FDA didn’t even begin to consider the possibility until 2003. That’s the year the FDA went against an independent joint advisory committee recommendation to make the drug available over the counter; instead they reiterated that it would not be available without a prescription.

As you may remember, the concerns the FDA cited over emergency contraception were not about women’s health or the safety of efficacy of the drug. Instead, they were worried about young women getting all slutty. Dr. W. David Hager, one of the FDA committee members who voted against EC’s over-the-counter approval and a key player in making sure Plan B got held up, told The New York Times: “What we heard today was frequently about individuals who did not want to take responsibility for their actions and wanted a medication to relieve those consequences.” Some things to keep in mind about Hager: in suggested in a book he wrote that women could cure PMS with prayer, and his wife accused him of rape. So yeah, a bit scary that he was in charge of women’s health.

It later came to light that FDA medical official Janet Woodcock wrote in an internal memo that over-the-counter status for Plan B could cause “extreme promiscuous behaviors such as the medication taking on an ‘urban legend’ status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B.” It has Lifetime Original Movie written all over it. Of course this but-it-will-make-girls-slutty argument is hardly new. It’s the same excuse legislators have given when attempting to limit women’s access to birth control, and more recently, to the HPV vaccine.

Ultimately, the FDA/EC debacle became a real crisis. In 2005, Susan Wood, director of the Office of Women’s Health and assistant commissioner for women’s health, resigned in protest. It wasn’t until July 2006—after protests were launched and complaints lodged from female legislators and local activists (nine of whom got arrested in front of FDA headquarters), and the Government Accountability Office issued a report about how politicized and “unusual” the process was—did the FDA approve EC for over-the-counter sales.

Unfortunately, the drug was made available only to women eighteen and older, so the very people who need EC most—young women—were deprived. Once again, this restriction was put in place because of the FDA’s fear that young women would become promiscuous. In 2009, after a federal judge ruled that the FDA made their age restrictions “arbitrarily” and for ideological reasons, the FDA was court ordered to make Plan B One Step (which has one pill instead of two) available over-the-counter to those 17 years old and older and to review the age restriction in its entirety. The FDA complied with the former, but failed to do the latter. In 2010, the Center for Reproductive Rights took the FDA to court for ignoring this court order.

Earlier this year the pharmaceutical company that makes Plan B - Teva - gave the FDA new data showing that anyone, even adolescents, can use the drug safely and effectively without a pharmacist or doctor overseeing them; they asked the FDA to approve Plan B without an age restriction. The review deadline for the FDA is Wednesday - and while there’s no guarantee they’ll make this deadline, or that they’ll do the right thing, reproductive justice folks in the know are feeling optimistic. 

If the FDA’s approval goes through as expected, you can expect to see conservative opponents make the following (bullshit) arguments:

• Plan B kills babies. This argument is being made by anti-choicers who believe that life starts at conception and that Plan B works by preventing the implantation of a fertilized egg. Actually, the most recent studies indicate that EC works by preventing ovulation or fertilization, not implantation. But even if it did - so what? A zygote does not a person make. These are the same folks who want to make birth control of all sorts illegal. No logic/concern for women to be found there.

• Making Plan B more accessible will make girls slutty. Been there, done that. A ridiculous argument with no basis in fact. This is a transparent scare tactic that conservatives use when it comes to anything having to do with women’s health. Condoms don’t make kids more likely to have sex, they make them more likely to have protected sex. The same is true for EC. Not to mention, what’s wrong with having sex?

• Making Plan B more accessible will make girls vulnerable to predators. I think if conservatives are worried about young women being sexually assaulted, they should be supporting VAWA and cutting out all of their vicim-blaming bullshit. Having a safe contraceptive available to young women doesn’t make them more likely to be assaulted. This is the same argument used to try to defund Planned Parenthood - these people don’t care about children or young women, they care about their traditional gender and purity norms.

• Parents have a right to know what their kids are up to. I understand the fear that parents have about their children - but the truth is a lot of kids do speak to their parents about their sexual activity. One third of teens say parents influence their decisions around sex and teens are more likely to get their information about contraception, pregnancy and sexuality from family members than from friends. Research also indicates that requiring minors to inform parent before they can access contraception delays or prevents them from seeking reproductive health services, and it does not reduce their sexual activity.

Why Plan B on-the-shelf is such an important milestone in reproductive health access:

• It does away with the discriminatory/silly age restriction. The age limit on Plan B never made sense. Not only did it keep emergency contraception out of the hands of those who need it most, but in many states, teen girls can obtain abortions without parental permission, but can’t access a drug that can stop them from getting pregnant. Makes. No. Sense.

• It cuts out the middleman pharmacist - who may be an extreme anti-choicer. Too many people who have gone to the pharmacy for Plan B (or even just for birth control pills) have been denied by extremist pharmacists who insert themselves in others’ personal medical decisions. (Remember this pharmacist who wrote to a newspaper about how he just lies about EC availability so women won’t be able to access the drug?) Plan B on-the-shelf does away with all that nonsense.

• It’s safe, effective, and cuts down on the number of unwanted pregnancies. Moore says, “We know from studies that Plan B One-Step is safe enough for anyone at risk of an unintended pregnancy to use without a doctor or health care professional looking over her shoulder. And we know from real world experience that telling someone in a white coat that you (or your partner) failed to use contraception - or your method failed you - is not the highlight of anyone’s day. Having [emergency contraception] on the shelf will enable more women to take timely action to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.” And really - despite all the moral panic hoopla - isn’t that what this is all about?

So keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow. And if this does happen - and Plan B is available on drugstore shelves - we should be throwing a big ole thank you party to all of the amazing reproductive health and justice organizations that have been holding the FDA’s feet to the fire for years. Because this breakthrough in women’s health will be thanks to them.

It didn’t happen, but this post still has a lot of great information.