Posts tagged transmisogyny
Posts tagged transmisogyny
When I was first coming out as trans, I had a lot of internalized transmisogyny. I knew how negative society’s images of trans women were and I was convinced that I was somehow different. I was terrified of being seen as a man in a dress, so I just never wore dresses. In that respect it was rather convenient that I’m butch. I was not going to be - as another trans woman put it to me - “a masturbating freak in panties.” I internalized a list of norms and behaviors that I had to avoid in order to be taken seriously and seen as a real woman. This list of “don’t”s is more or less the autogynophilia diagnostic citeria.
Years later, after I had begun writing on transmisogyny I still had a lot of these messages internalized. I had a wake up moment when I was traveling and visiting a girlfriend. Her roommate came home after a difficult day and mentioned that she had gone clothes shopping to cheer herself up, and quickly showed off her new underwear and dresses, in particular one slinky sequined number. There was much oohing and aahing and her mood significantly improved.
About an hour later she came back out of her room and said that she was having a hard time doing her work for the evening because she was still depressed. My girlfriend sat her down and gave her some sage advice. ”Just put you nice new dress on, as well as your fancy new underwear. It will make you feel sexy and you’ll feel better.” ”Then what, just work while wearing it?” “Yeah.”
Warnings had been popping into head the whole time but now alarm bells were going off. I so desperately wanted to warn them “Don’t do that! You’re directly admitting a connection between feminine clothing and sexual arousal and using that almost as if you’re self medicating! No one will take you seriously as a real woman, you’ll just be seen as some fetishist!” But I didn’t say that of course. Not only because it would have been very rude, but because they were cis women. No one is going to take away their womanhood for feeling sexy about lingerie and slinky dresses. This seems to be something cis women, particularly femmes, do all the time.
The bottom line is that the behavior classified as autogynophilia is normal female behavior. Charles Moser did a small study where he tried applying the criteria for it to cis women and found that 93% of cis women qualify as autogynophiles. So why are trans women subjected to this standard and often stigmatized, punished, or denied access to healthcare if they fit this criteria? And why is there no similar criteria for trans men?
It seems to me this is primarily about exerting the control doctors have over trans people to maintain male control over the sexuality of women. It encourages us to be sexually available to men and discourages us from having a sense of sexuality focused in ourselves or in other women. It sets up a pass/fail system so we are beholden to gatekeepers and must prove that we are the good kind of trans woman and not the bad kind. And it pits us against each other as enforcers of this system and keeps us divide so we cannot challenge the psychologists who create the rules of who can and cannot access transition. It’s no accident that one of the main proponents of using autogynophelia as a diagnosis was caught having sex with his patients, not informing them he was using their experiences in his research, and manipulating their testimony by granting/denying medical care based on whether or not they said they fit his model.
this notion that “trans guys pass better” is actually a function of transmisogyny. we shouldn’t imply there is some mechanism of human sexual development that makes trans men inherently “pass” or “blend” better than trans women; both trans men and trans women who have transitioned post-puberty end up with secondary sex characteristics commonly associated with both men and women.
the main difference in trans men’s and women’s experiences with “passing” or “blending” is that men’s bodies are not deconstructed and scrutinized in the same ways that womens bodies are. there are no stand up comedians or prime time television shows humiliating men for wearing compression vests, having top surgery scars, or having small hands, for example.
Before I even started playing the new GTA, I knew there would be trans women in it. I knew about where and when I could find them. I knew what their jobs would be. Because to the people this game is made by and targeted to, we can only be one of two things: secret ‘batin’ fantasies or sex workers moaning about hormones and their private parts.
When I found and greeted a group of them, the main characters had the following things to say:
Michael: Hello, sir. I mean, madam. I mean, ~whatever~
Michael: Well, hello, Mid-op.
Franklin: Almost fooled me, (bro-she?). Almost.
Franklin: Hey, you need to keep taking your hormones!
And the trans women said the following as I creepily eavesdropped and took photos of them (remember, these quotes were intended to be funny.):
Trans woman: I don’t think the laser treatment is working!
Trans woman: They won’t let me on the ladies’ basketball league at the rec center. This is crazy! I think I’m going to sue or something.
Trans woman: (on the phone) I Just wish he’d let me untuck more… I dunno if I wanna lose it forever, and he needs to understand that!
I will never buy another Rockstar game ever again. I’m fucking done. Fucking shit.
I was already done with Rockstar. Now I’m beyond done.
UGH. >:\ This is so so utterly disgusting. Haha let’s laugh at the trans women sex workers. That’s so clever and original, and not at all totally hateful and dehumanizing to a group of people who already face both in society and are often targets of violence, abuse and murder.
TODAY IN TRENDY FEEL-GOOD SYMBOLS THAT MEAN NOTHING
waaaait wait wait wait okay let me get this shit lined up we enforce femme passing on trans women, expect them to be high femme in expression, to break their backs looking right, talking right, walking right and then not only do we get angry when trans women are successful at this ONE KIND OF FEMININITY that they’re allowed to express we then complain that trans women have no depth? HOLY FUCK we are the WORST KIND OF PEOPLE
Black women and girls lost to gun violence, police brutality, intimate partner violence and transphobia:
Dana LarkinKassandra Perkins
Adaisha MillerBrandy MartellDeanna Cook PatrickTyisha MillerAshley SinclairWe remember your names and we honor your lives.
some of the most amazing people this world might ever see
Ashley Del Valle is a transgender woman from New York who was arrested in Georgia for indecent exposure after she allegedly showed her breasts, but then was housed in an all-male jail.
You arrest her because her top is too sheer and shows her nipples, something that is only a crime for women.
And then you jail her as a man.
tw: transphobia, suicide
It was exactly three months ago that Richard Littlejohn published a piece in the Daily Mail viciously attacking Lucy Meadows, a primary school teacher in Britain. Littlejohn targeted Meadows because she’s transgender and had chosen to remain in her job as a teacher after beginning to present as a woman – this was the entire basis for his outrageous, unprovoked assault on her identity, her career, and her very life. It was vile and hateful in all the ways we’ve come to expect from a publication that, like much of the press these days, treats trans women as alternately ridiculous or a threat to society. It was quite literally intolerant of everything that Lucy Meadows was.
So it came as a surprise today that the Daily Mail has completely removed any mention of Meadows from Littlejohn’s column. What happened? Did they suffer a sudden attack of morality, three months later? No. Their decision was based on something much darker than conscience.
Lucy Meadows killed herself this week.
One of the comments left on this piece is succinct. Kids understand things much better than you think they do. Finding our that your teacher has died (though I’m sure they’ll be sheltered from the details…) is a far bigger deal.
I am done with the world today.
The next time someone tries to imply that hate speech is harmless, I’m going to punch them in the fucking throat.
Bolded emphasis mine
CONTINUOUSLY HARASSING SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DARE EXIST IN PUBLIC MIGHT BE DANGEROUS????
DON’T LET SOME OF THE FUCKING PSYCHOSTALKERS ON TUMBLR KNOW THIS
I recently realised that I actually think all PIV is rape. If I use my definition (weaponization of the penis), then consensual intercourse still falls under that. Even if you like it. Even if you have an orgasm. You can’t consent to being assaulted, after all. The physical…
5) This charming little intellectual exercise is really disgustingly disrespectful of people who’ve survived actual rape.
I’ve experienced PIV and I’ve experienced sexual assault. Pretty goddamn different experiences. How DARE you tell me that being assaulted was morally equivalent to warm happy snuggly sex with my boyfriend.
You can’t consent to assault because consent is the thing that makes it not assault anymore.
I also want to point out that classifying all penises as always weapons is massively, unforgivably transmisogynist.
It is also telling that so many of the people who embrace this line of argument accept without challenge the very concept of PIV sex as penetration. I believe that OP thinks they are trying to empower (cis) women by freeing them from the tyranny of patriarchal experiences of sex, but trying to make all PIV sex rape is such a backwards way to go about it. There are reasons that this sex act isn’t widely known as “engulfing” or “accepting” or “inviting.” Can we perhaps consider those reasons, and that summarily increasing the threat level of penises doesn’t take away any power from men but in fact gives them more, while degendering trans women and reducing the agency of all women to claim their own subjective experiences as real and significant?
I understand that “because I like it” feels like a weak argument but it is actually really important. It’s not the only thing that matters—I do give some weight to social forces constraining what choices individuals are even able to conceive of as possible—but dismissing it altogether does a huge disservice to the real people affected by all this theorizing.
I reject OP’s authority to define MY sexual experience.
Claiming that all PIV sex emphasizes women’s “fuckhole status” or whatever is merely a continuation of rape culture, plain and simple, and cissexist to boot.
because another black trans* woman is dead three blocks from where Paige Clay was found murdered in April and major Chicago news outlets won’t even give her the basic respect of using her chosen name.
Because our young black girls are dying at an alarming rate and even the queer community doesn’t want to talk about it
Because my own people (queer people and black people) are throwing these women into the streets and their blood is running there now
Because my black and brown trans* sisters are being murdered in the streets and the cis white gay rights movement is worried about how soon we can get married (which is important) but ignores the need for trans* folks to have housing options when they’re kicked out of their homes, which is far too often
Because gay men are still tossing around the t-slur that these women probably heard as they died
And it’s disgusting. Because nobody cares. The queer community will not speak of these women, and neither will the black community. I used to think it would take a rash of murders to wake people up, but I don’t know anymore. Because that rash is here. Tiffany Gooden was not the first. And I’m so afraid she won’t be the last. It kills me to think that my sisters are dying like this. Brown and queer and beautiful and with nobody to empower them. It absolutely kills me.