Posts tagged transmisogyny
Posts tagged transmisogyny
Look, you know I love you. You know this isn’t me trying to tell you that you’re terrible forever. You know I don’t hate you for what I’m about to say.
But, well, y’all keep fucking up. And you keep fucking up in the same exact ways, even after hearing me and other trans women tell you ad nauseam exactly how you’re fucking up. And hell, you probably literally are sick of hearing it. But if you’re serious about doing right by trans women — and, if I call you friend, you are — then please listen.
(And please, don’t try to claim that it’s misogynist to specifically address cis women instead of just “cis people”. That’s BS and you know it. Cis women oppress us in certain ways that cis men do not.)
I get how important it is to love your bodies, and I totally support that. I also get that it can be cathartic to attack your oppressors’ bodies. I understand where that’s coming from, totally.
- As a woman with a penis, I can tell you with certainty that you would not be afforded more respect if you had a penis. In fact, you’d face even more of an uphill battle getting the jobs, recognition, etc. that you want, because every single time you did anything at all, people would just dismiss you for being a trans woman. You could fucking cure cancer, and all anyone would say in response is, “that’s a duuuuuuuuuude lol that’s disgusting”. You’d face even more misogyny, even more abuse, and even more dehumanization in general.
- The uterus and/or vagina is not the fount of all womanhood. In saying or implying that it is, you are saying that trans women are not women. And you know that’s not true.
- Trans women are women. Some trans women have penises. Ergo, some women have penises. So when you insult penises/testicles/etc. in general, you are attacking other women’s bodies. How is this pro-woman? How is it feminist? (Radscum needn’t bother replying to this, obvs.)
- Trans women’s health issues are women’s health issues. When you say you don’t care about the health of people with penises, you are necessarily saying that you don’t care about trans women’s health.
I know you know this already; it’s all pretty obvious remedial Trans 023 stuff. And yet, when I bring it up in reference to something you posted, y’all resist it in various ways, usually tearing pages from the Derailing for Dummies* playbook. Which frustrates me so much, because you know better, and I know you know better.
Yes, by all means, be proud of your vagina! And support/boost/offer education about how DFAB reproductive systems work, since society actively tries to suppress that information! And defend everyone’s right to choose tooth-and-nail! And raise holy hell about the fact that it’s easier to get Viagra than it is to get birth control! But here’s a thought: you can do all of that without degendering trans women, without shitting on our needs and our bodies, without situationally revoking our personhood when it’s convenient for your arguments.
You can. You really can. If I thought otherwise, we wouldn’t be friends.
So please, please pay more attention to what you say and what it means. This shit needs to change. So please, help change it.
* No, I don’t care for the title. It’s still a good (and wonderfully sarcastic) reference to the derailing tactics folks use.
Feels a little early to rebagel this, but it needs to continue being seen.
feminists won’t take your opinions seriously because you’re a man? woah dude that sucks. as a woman I can’t even imagine. thank god no one has ever devalued my insight because of my sex and gender
Just like to point out that hostilehottie is a TERF, a transmisogynistic bigot, and thus her opinions on gender dynamics are quite likely to be wrong because her groupings of ‘men’ and ‘women’ are not aligned with reality.
When I was first coming out as trans, I had a lot of internalized transmisogyny. I knew how negative society’s images of trans women were and I was convinced that I was somehow different. I was terrified of being seen as a man in a dress, so I just never wore dresses. In that respect it was rather convenient that I’m butch. I was not going to be - as another trans woman put it to me - “a masturbating freak in panties.” I internalized a list of norms and behaviors that I had to avoid in order to be taken seriously and seen as a real woman. This list of “don’t”s is more or less the autogynophilia diagnostic citeria.
Years later, after I had begun writing on transmisogyny I still had a lot of these messages internalized. I had a wake up moment when I was traveling and visiting a girlfriend. Her roommate came home after a difficult day and mentioned that she had gone clothes shopping to cheer herself up, and quickly showed off her new underwear and dresses, in particular one slinky sequined number. There was much oohing and aahing and her mood significantly improved.
About an hour later she came back out of her room and said that she was having a hard time doing her work for the evening because she was still depressed. My girlfriend sat her down and gave her some sage advice. ”Just put you nice new dress on, as well as your fancy new underwear. It will make you feel sexy and you’ll feel better.” ”Then what, just work while wearing it?” “Yeah.”
Warnings had been popping into head the whole time but now alarm bells were going off. I so desperately wanted to warn them “Don’t do that! You’re directly admitting a connection between feminine clothing and sexual arousal and using that almost as if you’re self medicating! No one will take you seriously as a real woman, you’ll just be seen as some fetishist!” But I didn’t say that of course. Not only because it would have been very rude, but because they were cis women. No one is going to take away their womanhood for feeling sexy about lingerie and slinky dresses. This seems to be something cis women, particularly femmes, do all the time.
The bottom line is that the behavior classified as autogynophilia is normal female behavior. Charles Moser did a small study where he tried applying the criteria for it to cis women and found that 93% of cis women qualify as autogynophiles. So why are trans women subjected to this standard and often stigmatized, punished, or denied access to healthcare if they fit this criteria? And why is there no similar criteria for trans men?
It seems to me this is primarily about exerting the control doctors have over trans people to maintain male control over the sexuality of women. It encourages us to be sexually available to men and discourages us from having a sense of sexuality focused in ourselves or in other women. It sets up a pass/fail system so we are beholden to gatekeepers and must prove that we are the good kind of trans woman and not the bad kind. And it pits us against each other as enforcers of this system and keeps us divide so we cannot challenge the psychologists who create the rules of who can and cannot access transition. It’s no accident that one of the main proponents of using autogynophelia as a diagnosis was caught having sex with his patients, not informing them he was using their experiences in his research, and manipulating their testimony by granting/denying medical care based on whether or not they said they fit his model.
this notion that “trans guys pass better” is actually a function of transmisogyny. we shouldn’t imply there is some mechanism of human sexual development that makes trans men inherently “pass” or “blend” better than trans women; both trans men and trans women who have transitioned post-puberty end up with secondary sex characteristics commonly associated with both men and women.
the main difference in trans men’s and women’s experiences with “passing” or “blending” is that men’s bodies are not deconstructed and scrutinized in the same ways that womens bodies are. there are no stand up comedians or prime time television shows humiliating men for wearing compression vests, having top surgery scars, or having small hands, for example.
Before I even started playing the new GTA, I knew there would be trans women in it. I knew about where and when I could find them. I knew what their jobs would be. Because to the people this game is made by and targeted to, we can only be one of two things: secret ‘batin’ fantasies or sex workers moaning about hormones and their private parts.
When I found and greeted a group of them, the main characters had the following things to say:
Michael: Hello, sir. I mean, madam. I mean, ~whatever~
Michael: Well, hello, Mid-op.
Franklin: Almost fooled me, (bro-she?). Almost.
Franklin: Hey, you need to keep taking your hormones!
And the trans women said the following as I creepily eavesdropped and took photos of them (remember, these quotes were intended to be funny.):
Trans woman: I don’t think the laser treatment is working!
Trans woman: They won’t let me on the ladies’ basketball league at the rec center. This is crazy! I think I’m going to sue or something.
Trans woman: (on the phone) I Just wish he’d let me untuck more… I dunno if I wanna lose it forever, and he needs to understand that!
I will never buy another Rockstar game ever again. I’m fucking done. Fucking shit.
I was already done with Rockstar. Now I’m beyond done.
UGH. >:\ This is so so utterly disgusting. Haha let’s laugh at the trans women sex workers. That’s so clever and original, and not at all totally hateful and dehumanizing to a group of people who already face both in society and are often targets of violence, abuse and murder.
TODAY IN TRENDY FEEL-GOOD SYMBOLS THAT MEAN NOTHING
waaaait wait wait wait okay let me get this shit lined up we enforce femme passing on trans women, expect them to be high femme in expression, to break their backs looking right, talking right, walking right and then not only do we get angry when trans women are successful at this ONE KIND OF FEMININITY that they’re allowed to express we then complain that trans women have no depth? HOLY FUCK we are the WORST KIND OF PEOPLE
Black women and girls lost to gun violence, police brutality, intimate partner violence and transphobia:
Dana LarkinKassandra Perkins
Adaisha MillerBrandy MartellDeanna Cook PatrickTyisha MillerAshley SinclairWe remember your names and we honor your lives.
some of the most amazing people this world might ever see
Ashley Del Valle is a transgender woman from New York who was arrested in Georgia for indecent exposure after she allegedly showed her breasts, but then was housed in an all-male jail.
You arrest her because her top is too sheer and shows her nipples, something that is only a crime for women.
And then you jail her as a man.
tw: transphobia, suicide
It was exactly three months ago that Richard Littlejohn published a piece in the Daily Mail viciously attacking Lucy Meadows, a primary school teacher in Britain. Littlejohn targeted Meadows because she’s transgender and had chosen to remain in her job as a teacher after beginning to present as a woman – this was the entire basis for his outrageous, unprovoked assault on her identity, her career, and her very life. It was vile and hateful in all the ways we’ve come to expect from a publication that, like much of the press these days, treats trans women as alternately ridiculous or a threat to society. It was quite literally intolerant of everything that Lucy Meadows was.
So it came as a surprise today that the Daily Mail has completely removed any mention of Meadows from Littlejohn’s column. What happened? Did they suffer a sudden attack of morality, three months later? No. Their decision was based on something much darker than conscience.
Lucy Meadows killed herself this week.
One of the comments left on this piece is succinct. Kids understand things much better than you think they do. Finding our that your teacher has died (though I’m sure they’ll be sheltered from the details…) is a far bigger deal.
I am done with the world today.
The next time someone tries to imply that hate speech is harmless, I’m going to punch them in the fucking throat.
Bolded emphasis mine
CONTINUOUSLY HARASSING SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DARE EXIST IN PUBLIC MIGHT BE DANGEROUS????
DON’T LET SOME OF THE FUCKING PSYCHOSTALKERS ON TUMBLR KNOW THIS